Thursday, September 13 2007 - Lingering Pain

lingering pain

my blog entries are getting fewer by the month. not sure why also.

constant fatigue and also not in the mood to blog much.

still feeling sad over the loss of beecube and it is made worse by friends who asked about how the pregnancy is going unknowingly although it is through no fault of their own. it is hard to be reminded of time and time again.

its hard to say "oh, i had a miscarriage".. or "oh.. i lost the baby.. it didnt have a heartbeat". the words just sounded strange coming through my mouth. and u put up a brave front and pretend that it is all ok. it is just a weird feeling to have to go through. although i know they are trying to empathize, but i really dont need any anyone feeling sorry for me. it wasnt my fault, nor bee's fault, some people may not understand that, especially the older ones who instinctly think its becuz the woman had a "weak womb".

so anyhow, i have gotten over it. i really did. but that doesnt mean i still dont feel any pain over it. next week, i'd be going for a course meant for beginning teachers, and i'm sure some of them would have known, and some perhaps not. i guess its good then. i can finally announce it once and for all.