Wednesday, May 30 2007 - My First Gynae Visit

visited Dr Adelina Wong today at Thomson Medical Centre.she was recommended to me by a friend.

asked around for several recommendations and all were male gynaes and i wasnt sure if i wanted another male poking into my privates, so dr wong was set to go.

she is much prettier in person i must say. her photo on the website does not do her any justice. soft-spoken and sophisticated.

did an ultra-scan but no signs of sac. so dr wong suggested a vagina scan, will be much clearer. still, no signs of sac. it is probably too tiny to be seen on the monitor.

i know its way to early for a gynae visit but u see, my bee is leaving for nanjing on 6-15 june and we're leaving for phuket 17-20 june. that'd be the best time to see one, but it may be too rush and we may not get an appointment. so i just called today to try my luck since we were both free. friday was out as he has to go back to school, then next 4, 5 June i had to go back to nie. so today, in some ways, was the "best date".

so anyway, no signs of it. pretty scary i'd say. bill came to up a whopping $169 for some folic acid and hormones pills. basic consult was $80. so i reckon it also cost for the scans? i cant help but get a nagging feeling that she might have known that the baby sac was too small to be seen but she did it anyway for the $? anyway, i may be reading too much into it and will give her another try. afterall, we met many other expecting mothers and also a tiny newborn in the waiting area. lotsa patients can only be good.

another thing i learnt.reading too much info in the forum may do u no good..
slow growing sac.. no heartbeats.. auto abort...down syndrome.. etc etc.. it just does nothing but freak u out unnecessarily.

i have decided not to let the stress demons overwhelm me and consume me..
one thing's for sure - we're both fertile. we are spared the nightmare of trying for years and see no results. we're spared the IVF.. we have no blocked fallopian tubes nor weak or low sperm count.. we CAN conceive. THAT alone, is enough for us to REJOICE.

nature has its strange ways of ensuring survival. should anything happen.. it may be for a better reason..

another nagging issue to air. i may not want too many people to learn of my pregnancy in future. for some reason, i just told a couple of close friends, but good news has a strange way of spreading. asked an ex-colleague from sac about her gynae, and ended up the whole PE dept congratulating me cuz they were at camp and she unwittingly must be blurted out once she received my sms. and for some reason, another classmate bumped into her and this classmate was with another classmate.. and so the story goes..

it is not that i do not wish for people to know.. it just becomes a little worrisome, should in the event, something unpleasant happens and people do not know of it, and then asked u at the wrong timing.. it is just not a very nice thing to experience...

some people feel that pregnancy can be very "pantung" (superstitious) some women choose not to reveal the status till the first trimester is over as it is still unstable. but for me, it is a happy thing and i want to share my happiness with people around me.. its that euphoria feeling that is exploding within u.. just like those ...

"I'm in love!".. or.. "he proposed!!" .... or "We're getting married!!"...

i've experienced all of the above in just a short span of 3 years since i met bee.. and now.. i wanna shout out to the world...

"we're having a baby!"..

i choose not to be "pantung".

i choose to believe that by telling people, all their congratulatory heartfelt wishes, will be strong and positive emotions.. that will vibrate within me.. and into my baby.. i trust that me and my baby will be safe and fine.. even if it does not happen.. i will not lose hope..

for i know i have a loving, wonderful.. and supportive hubby right beside me.

ps*did i say that being preggy gives u perkier boobs!? ;)my hubby says it doesnt matter to him!! heh.but at the same time, my tummy is bloated like a whale....
oooh.